Today, I was chatting with one of my friends. While chatting on various random things, he introduced the topic of Marriage, but in a negative way.
He said, “Wah,Yeh ek lauti aisi barbaadi hai jiske liye log congrats karte hai”.
I replied, “May be vo barbaadi ho hi na…sirf jo khud barbaad hai unhone badnaam kiya ho,It depends on individual…how you take it !!!”
Again, he said, “Nahi yaar bhaley hi kitni bhi achhi married life ho But freedom to compromise karni hi parti hai”.
Here, i wanted to know what does he meant by Freedom, so I asked him and not to my surprise as this is all is going around in every so called young or modern mind.
He said, “Daru nahi pee saktey if you get married as wife gets annoyed”. Also, he said, “Biwiyan hoti hi aisi hai-Jab boley do what ever you want to do, Matlab you can not do any thing what you want to”. I am sure many of the boys or husbands must be nodding their heads on this statement of my friend. Relax guys, always you can’t be correct on this topic only because you have more numbers on your side.
On this I replied, “ye to mutual understanding pe hai,Aapas me vo understanding create krni padti hai-Kuch aap mano kuch aapka partner maney. If I can make my husband understand that its alright to me if you do whatever you wanna do, but you make sure not to cross your limits.
Lemme make it clear what do I mean when I say limit:
1) Go with your female friends or with your friends who are interested in paid sex and all, just make sure you “Do not ditch me for any so called possible reason”
2) Be truthful to me at all the time whatever may the scenario.
You see I am not at all demanding, And, I am sure most of the wives are not if you make the things clear before you get into any relationship, like, tell your would be and its applicable for all that
1)I drink & smoke and don’t wanna quit, if its alright to you then lets go ahead and have a lovely life together, (do not try and impress your would be by saying or showing that I wanna quit and I would once we are together, that never happens, and if happens that’s one in millions).
2)Tell your would be that your friends are very very important to you, may be more than you; and you would not tolerate any interference among you and your friends, not at any cost; if its alright to you then lets go ahead and have a wonderful life together, (do not make your would be feel important or top on priority now and once you are together your priority gets change, that’s very depressing and hurts a lot).
3)And many such things. In everyone’s case, these may vary, the point is be honest at the first place.
I am sure once you would clarify everything at the first step, life would definitely go smooth and happening.
My responses to my friend’s reason of saying “shaadi hai barbaadi” are-
1)Go ahead have your Daaru, but not on all the 7 days a week or not on 4-5 days a week, Daaru is for fun (as people say now a days, I have heard it a lot), so lets keep it for fun, and we together can have this fun, lets not make a necessity or stress buster.
2)Also, go on outing with your friends, but not on every weekend, once in a while is alright, but not on complete 3 weeks in a go, I am also waiting for you, we are together because we chose it.
He also pointed out that once you get married you are compelled to take responsibilities. Who said??? Why don’t you make your partner understand that you need her/his support to shoulder the responsibilities, its actually simple, please don’t make it complicated with all such lame excuses of the society.
Its your own life, manage it your way not as per the society or so called well wishers. You have 2-3 in millions as your well wisher, Most of them actually push you to the well only, not purposefully may be, but because of their narrow ability to think.
The other day, I was chatting with another friend of mine, my school friend, his thoughts were almost the same though he is married, so I asked him is it your love marriage or arranged? He replied, its a love marriage (On this I felt, his thoughts are distracted or polluted because he said I am married with a girl who is my love but still I am open to beautiful girls). I asked him but why, you have a beautiful wife most importantly the girl whom you wanted to be in your life? Again, not to my surprise anymore, he said, for drinks. (On this I felt it this way that if its about drinks only than why not guys why only girls? )For this I said, you have a beautiful wife(a girl), your friend(since its a love marriage), than why don’t you take her with you for the drinks? His response was its not good for her. Ohhh !!! Come on, atleast not now, for God sake or for anybody’s sake, now don’t give that damn lame reason, if drinks are not good for her, surely, its not for you as well. Just as a suggestion drinks can be non alcoholic as well for your wife if you think that way, which is definitely not acceptable to me atleast.
Also, my friend wanted to know what suggestion would I give him to avoid SAAS-BAHU fights. I just answered, its only you The WISE MAN who can manage that kind of situation before it arise between “BOTH THE LOVE OF YOUR LIFE”!!!
Anyways, What I want to say is
- Have your drinks, but not on all the 7 days a week or 4-5 days a week,
- Go out on a trip or in a party with friends, but make sure you go out on a trip and in a party with your partner as well,
- Love your Parents and she would love and respect them more than you do,
- Have a Bar in your house, may be she is the one who would help you in setting that up better than you could do (Its my Friend’s wish, That’s why I have quoted here, it could be something else in other’s case)
Everything is possible, the only fact is for proper clapping both the palms should come together to make an applauding sound.
Is it really too much for a Happening married life or for a life full of celebrations ? what is it that you are not getting when you are getting married ? Come on … get over all your weakness, actually, its you who don’t wanna come out of your comfort zone, its you who is not ready to accept your weak points, its you who don’t want to commit or Live a life which is actually far far better than the one which you are living or dreaming about, I BET !!! Drop your so called happening life, definitely fake, and you are welcome to the Real life full of fun and celebrations not only on occasions but 24*7*365+1 !!!
I am really clueless why do we think in that negative way about our own choice, wwwwhhhyyyy???